Product Review: Grandiflora’s Loma Prieta

by Carrie Fuckin' Dabshaw
Grandiflora_Loma Prieta_Product Review

About Grandiflora’s Loma Prieta

Grandiflora runs with a top-notch crew as part of the Cookies family of brands. Founded by world-class geneticist Mark McCafferty in 2008, Grandiflora is known for their high-quality exotic flower. As part of Cookies’ social impact program, Mark got the opportunity to participate in and profit from the legalized cannabis market after being incarcerated on drug charges. It’s awesome to see the people previously imprisoned by prohibition, get paid off legalization. Round up your purchase to Last Prisoner Project to make this a possibility for the forty thousand people still behind bars for weed.

Grandiflora makes its name producing rare, exclusive, and innovative genetics. Like the Loma Prieta at hand, most of their strains are names I’ve never heard. Minnit Made, Hectane, Piña Acai, E85, and others join what must be amongst the best strain names ever: Wild Thornberries. The graphic design associated with this awesome nomenclature is just as fun and inviting. Oakland’s distinctive style pops off  Grandi’s beautiful clothing options and LA makes its mark with a YouTube link to an episode of Grandiflora TV. 

Berner sets a legendarily high standard and Grandiflora better be on point if it wants to cut the mustard (which, yes, is an expression).

Highlights

Loma Prieta is of mysterious parentage-it’s uncertain where exactly it came from though Grandiflora’s Melonatta and Project 4516 are involved. Loma Prieta seems to be named after 1989’s 6.9 magnitude tsunami triggering an earthquake.

Loma Prieta’s naming and Cookies affiliation talk a big game but the Grandiflora packaging is extremely understated in black and gold with an uppercase G wearing a crown. The bottom denotes indoor luxury flower.  Let’s see if Loma can walk it like she talks it.

Grandiflora_Loma Prieta_Product Review

Effects

Loma Prieta has faint notes of skunk and spice on the nose with hints of rubber ball. Dense geometric buds mesh really deep greens into purples. There’s a strange off-putting texture to the flower. It’s not that it’s dry but it feels further removed from the earth. 

Ground up, the flower gets darker in color with more skunky notes. Flavor (obviously) is quite literally a matter of taste but Loma Prieta’s was not for me. With a hemp wick to light the bowl, stanky is the only word I would reach for in describing the taste. Using a lighter instead helps a lot and makes for a strong gas inhale.

Lab testing lists 19.49% THC but it felt like less to me. If you’re used to today’s standards (and not that barely potent plant of previous generations) you may find it weak. I had a friend who delighted in finding 8% THC weed so she could smoke all night without getting too high. With that approach, this is a strong choice. Or if you’re from an older generation of smokers not used to the sky-high potency of today this is a good one for you.

Loma Prieta offers a high-school high-it is an uncomplicated, entry-level business but not bad. The high sits squarely between the eyes with a largely incidental body effect. If you’re a character in one of those attempted comedies where a bunch of old dudes have one last hurrah to re-live their youth, this is the weed you would be smoking before something inevitably goes awry. 

Loma Prieta is “like the good ole days”-bland and basic.

Price

There’s no reason to pay $55 for this. Try Gary Payton from Cookies instead.

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