Cannabis Product Review: Zkittlez x Seven Leaves Melon Brainz

by Carrie Fuckin' Dabshaw
MelonBrainz_Jar_CarrieDabshaw

Zkittles Melon Brainz At-A-Glance

Highlights

Seven Leaves & legendary Zkittlez come together for a tasty, smokeable amusement park.

Effects

Irreverent, zoned out, stoner comedy vibes pair a mellowed mind with a softened body .

Price

$70 for connoisseur genetics, grow practices, and lineage.

Find it On Emjay

Get crackin', try Zkittles Melon Brainz now for in-store pick up or free delivery thru Emjay.

About Zkittles Melon Brainz

Seven Leaves is a brand I’ve been crushing on heavy from afar so I could not have been more overjoyed to find this landing in our Fresh New Drops section on Emjay.  With their state-of-art facilities in California’s capital, Seven Levels prides themselves on the highest quality indoor flower and responsible growing practices. Using 100% renewable energy for their grow operation, Seven Leaves has been at the forefront of advancing herbicide and pesticide-free practices since 2008.

From San Diego to Mount Shasta, Seven Leaves graces the shelves of over 250 dispensaries with their Saturday-Morning-Cartoon-reminiscent labeling.  Much more mature than their branding may seem, Seven Leaves prioritizes sustainability and giving back to the community in their flower summoning techniques. A member of the SMUD GreenEnergy Program, Seven Leaves has also participated in Walks for MS and local educational events.

Their newest partner in crime, Zkittlez has a reputation that proceeds them. Carving out a place for themselves in the cannabis landscape since California’s medical legalization with Prop 215, Zkittlez has a universally respected name that needs no introduction. Zkittlez has won over 90 awards for their quality and originality with breeder TerpHogz giving them the sauce for more exotic offerings.

Highlights

In collaboration, Zkittlez x Seven Leaves is the smoker’s wildest dreams realized. With 1st Place Trophies from both the Emerald Cup and Chalice California under Zkittlez’s belt, Seven Leaves is a worthy co-pilot for exciting new ventures which have rocked the cannabis world.  With an initial 5 strain drop, SL x Zkittlez won the internet with their exciting line-up. From LA Weekly all the way to The London Post,  everybody wanted in on the rotation. 

The first of five released in the powerhouse combo was Zruntz-a cross between Sherbinskis’ Gelato and (what else) Zkittlez. Sticking with the shtick, next came Bloobery Zkittlez and Hindu Zkittlez as spin-offs on the meeting point of Grape Ape and 2016 Emerald Cup 1st Place recipient Grapefruit. Although their exact lineage is uncertain, these Care Bear cousins are absolutely worth trying.  If you’re in need of a psychedelic daydream, look no further than Zlushi for a fruit-forward icy chill. And last, but of course, very not least is the Melon Brainz offering featured here.

Weed isn’t for categorization. Or “this is this”, “that is that” delineation. Although a lot of folks cling to broad stroke false binaries like “indica” vs “sativa” or the largely unhelpful (because cultivars and phenotypes vary so greatly) parentage equations, the only valuable metric of cannabis is the much harder to define moment-to-moment blossoming of happenings when you use it. We can wax poetic on our lives, write pages and pages of journals, direct screenplays, and dramatic presentations but nothing comes close to the living, breathing experience of it. 

So let’s go bravely into Melon Brainz and keep our eyes wide open to see where it leads us.

Effects

Not much room is left between the ends of the label on the jar of brainz but the small peak it provides is enough to send any true cannabis lover into the tizzy of an overstimulated child on Christmas morn. Purple thine name is Melon! If this is what brainz are like, let me go zombie mode here and now. Melon Brainz smells as purple as it looks with a really nice earthy plum perfume.  

The nug formation is really surprising and dynamic-lots of dense clusters and a few different manifestations and colors of hairs that ebb & flow beautifully. With uninterrupted trichome sugaring and more purple than you can shake a stick at, Melon Brainz is High Times centerfold worthy with a stoner’s paradise of visuals.

The Melon Brainz inhale is superb-a light and gassy mouthfeel projected on a tasty backdrop of fruit notes. Melon Brainz is particularly smokeable–the type of eighth you burn through quickly because it’s so pleasant. Melon Brainz will absolutely have you on zombie mode munchies as this is strong on appetite induction. The mind is heavily influenced by the brainz and offers goofy, stoney Leaning Tower of Cheeza vibes. 

Melon Brainz feels like the official smoke for every actor in every stoner comedy ever (now paging Jim Breuer) and will effortlessly erase all the fucks you had left to give.  This is a smoke for tie-dye, harmless pranks, and lots of laughs. Don’t expect to be productive or focused after a bowl of Melon. Save for this for kicking back with friends or melting into a movie.

Price

The appearance, aroma, inhale and effects are all on point but $70 is steep. If you are a connoisseur more invested in flower than clout, this is absolutely a worthy purchase. If you are still evolving your palate you may miss the finer notes of its quality.

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