Product Review: Tyson 2.0 The Toad

by Carrie Fuckin' Dabshaw
The Toad by Tyson 2.0

The Toad At-A-Glance

Highlights

Mike Tyson's Tyson 2.0 weighs in at a whopping 35% THC for his high potency take on the beloved GMO Cookies.

Effects

A lazy body meets an intermittently speedy mind and unlike Hannah Montana, does not get the best of both worlds.

Price

$55 is overpriced for the quality. Try Southern Toad or West Coast Toad from Tyson instead.

Find It on Emjay

Hop into the ring with this heavy hitter. Try Tyson 2.0 The Toad with Emjay's free delivery.

About Tyson 2.0

Tyson Ranch is owned by Mike Tyson and despite the many reasonable objections for not wanting to support him, it is important, regardless, to buy black. Anti-blackness is woven into every aspect of our society and it can only be undone with cooperative and concerted group effort. It is a grievous injustice that these inequities remain unaddressed and it is vital to infuse the charge against them as fully into your daily life as the antithesis has been chosen for you (i.e. Zinn’s inability to remain neutral on a moving train).

Buying from Tyson Ranch supports black entrepreneurship in the cannabis space and helps to level the disparate risk/reward benefit of partaking in the plant. According to The Last Prisoner Project, cannabis use is roughly equal among white and black folks, but black people are almost four times as likely to be arrested for possession. However, when legalized markets present an opportunity for wealth, only 4% of cannabis businesses are owned by black folks, with 81% chaired by whites. 

Sherbinskis and our amazing free delivery service Emjay offers black-owned options including Viola, Ball Family Farms, and Xzbit’s brand Napalm. In addition to the importance of buying black Tyson Ranch also partner’s with Tyson’s myyellowshirt.com to donate a portion of its proceeds to people dealing with homelessness and substance abuse.

Spend your money where it means something.

Highlights

The Toad cleans up nice in tuxedo black and white. The branding is sleek and upscale. It is a high-brow maneuver to avoid boxing puns or the eponymous celebrity likeness on the jar. This Toad wants to be taken seriously on its own merits and not because of its rich Father.

The Toad crosses Chemdawg OG x Girl Scout Cookies. A 1, 2 punch is often called “GMO Cookies”. The Ranch instead names The Toad in tribute to the extreme psychedelic effects of some amphibians’ venom. (Yeah, that’s actually real- you can lick a toad and get like Lisa Simpson when she drinks the water at Itchy & Scratchy Land.)

Over 35% THC and nearly 40% Cannabinoids make the potential to trip feasible. The Toad is dosed for pros or people who want to stretch their 3.5 grams as far as they can go. For low or moderate tolerances this is not a smoke-all-night potency- but a direct and to-the-point knockout before bed. High tolerance smokers will delight in a more rambunctious potency on par with many infused pre-rolls.

The Toad by Tyson Ranch

Effects

“The Truth Shall Be Toad” promises the impressively ripped eponymous amphibian on the top of the jar. The Toad looks to be wearing one of those old-timey wigs British magistrates would wear ’cause fuck why not? If trippy was the intended feel, they nailed it.

The Toad offers a really interesting bouquet.  Shake up the jar and a lot of aromas open up. There are a lot of sour notes, some sharp citrus, and stinky cheese.  The buds are renegades. The leaf clusters go in all different directions like waves of the sea. Lots of color variations from light green to deep browns and purples. The texture is also strange with sticky crystals matting the buds down in some parts and releasing them in popcorn formations in others. Lots and lots of earthiness with a little bit of spice on the inhale.

The high comes on gradually with a full-body muscle release. The mind, for the most part, is left to its own devices. The high, like the bud structure itself, seems at times to go in opposite directions. There’s absolutely a heaviness in the body but with random energetic bouts interspersed. It tends much more strongly towards curling up in bed than getting things done but there’s a strange raciness to the high which keeps you from just collapsing in bed. 

I kept smoking in hopes of receiving some of the promised psychedelic effects but The Toad didn’t turn into a Prince for me in that regard. The uplifting speedier characteristics take away from some of the stress release offered in the somatic effects. The high hangs in a shade of gray that unfortunately avoids a lot of the joys of either extreme. You don’t want to do anything on this high but you don’t like to feel relaxed enough to just be in that. For some people, this may seem like a good balance but personally, I found it really blunted a lot of the more nuanced effects. 

Price

The Toad is overhyped and overpriced at $55/eighth. Both Southern Toad and West Coast Toad (my personal favorite) are superior options at the same price point.

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