Napalm's Hippie Crusher At-A-Glance
About Napalm’s Hippie Crusher
Xzibit is out to pimp some weed with his name-brand cannabis company Napalm. The packaging is, not surprisingly, in line with Xzibit’s style—loud, dangerous, and real. The loose flower comes in a literal bomb-shaped package, with the weed placed neatly at the top like a warhead. There are all kinds of implications here. Is this thing about to go to war on me? Am I about to adopt the war machine by taking part in this review?
My heart tells me it’s just some flashy packaging to express Xzibit’s desire to be a top-shelf cannabis entrepreneur, however, some have taken note of the obvious: A bomb-shaped package labeled “Napalm” bares a striking resemblance to the millions of bombs used in WW2 and Vietnam. In a 4 minute video, Xzibit sympathized with critics stating that he was not “tone-deaf to what the climate of our society is,” and explained that “Napalm” shares its name with one of his albums from 2012. On the bright side, there’s a cool stash located inside the flower bomb that contains a package of Napalm brand papers. I don’t know man—It’s not too late. You can still rebrand this into some tricked-out toy cars filled with weed.
Someone had only one thing on their mind when they bred the Hippie Crusher: total relaxation.
Stemming from Hippie Crasher (Wedding Cake x Kush Mints) and Fruit Crusher (Florida OG x Lemon Skunk x Purple Skirt x LSD), this is one heavy indica with a high THC content (34.71%) sure to take away your woes and aches. The shades of light green and dark purpled specks found on this flower seem to be lifted from a Claude Monet water lily painting, with the trichomes appearing like blooming white buds littered throughout. Sadly to say, the smell doesn’t give a whole lot to the imagination, I only managed to pick up hints of fruit and that classic cut grass aroma, something Hank Hill would be fond of.
I decided to roll it into a joint and take a dry-hit for flavor, that’s when I discovered the Hippie Crusher’s hidden secret—a true Fruity Pebbles taste, Yabba-dabba-doo! Upon inhale I was surprised by the number of flavors going on here; grape, mint, and fuel all swirled together created a most unusual taste on the tongue. This is not an ordinary bowl of Fruity Pebbles, this is Fruity Pebbles poured into a bowl of Kerosene. The chemical flavor is very apparent on the exhale and leaves notes of sour grape. Overall a delicious breakfast treat.
With a name like Hippie Crusher, I only had vivid fascinations of being wasted on the couch completely stoned out of my mind. Paradoxically, I found the Hippie Crusher to be more of a hippie hugger—warm, gentle, and slightly odorous. This is the kind of high your body can embrace naturally, by giving way to relaxed muscle tension and pain relief—for this strain, I recommend a comfortable couch, a Netflix subscription, and the day off. Alternatively, for those suffering after-work insomnia, you might find this plant potent enough to help you sleep comfortably. I know that after enjoying a healthy meal I was KO’d by the Hippie Crusher around noon-time and sent a one-way ticket to naps-ville.
The body high occurs simultaneously with an enlightening shift in mood and for this reason I have dubbed this strain the perfect “Couch Buddy.” Roll one up, kick one back, and take five are all mantras shared within this sacred smoke. Movies, especially bad movies, can be made salvageable from this new perspective. I managed to sit through Kong Skull Island, a film I once saw as a failure, but I now see it as a comical farce in big-budget moviemaking. This movie was hilarious when high. I like to think I would not have given this film a second shot if it weren’t for the faithful couch buddy, the Hippie Crusher. Thanks.
I’d like to know how much of the price is dependent on the “cool” packaging. The flower itself is decent and would certainly sell itself, no need for the explosive innuendos. At $60 an 1/8th, I think Napalm’s Hippie Crusher falls just short of top-shelf and leans a little too much on the branding to sell.