Cannabis Product Review: NOIR Golden Ticket Vape by Timeless

by Carrie Dabshaw
Timeless Noir review on Emjay

Timeless NOIR At-A-Glance

Highlights

Timeless invites you to Taste the Terps with their Black Tie addition to the party.

Effects

Grab your Golden Ticket for a one-way decent into your unbothered mental vacation.

Price

$46 for a gram of oil with Live Resin terpenes added.

Find It on Emjay

Ready that Wonka Bar! with your Timeless NOIR Golden Ticket for magical free delivery on Emjay.

About Timeless NOIR

Timeless Vapes was founded in 2011 with a focus on providing the most efficient and discreet method of consuming cannabis possible. With a trademarked promise to Taste the Terps, Timeless serves up tried and true classic strains as well as their own proprietary flavor blends. Timeless uses cannabis oil that is free of solvents, additives, fillers, pesticides, and cutting agents. The terpenes added to enhance the natural flavors are 100% botanically derived.

Timeless works with local and independent artists and creatives in their Timeless Legacy series of goods. Included in this collection is a flip case for holding your battery and vape cart upright and safe from the elements in your beach bag, festi fanny, or overstuffed purse. The battery and flip case itself act as the artist’s canvas for whatever they may dream. It’s not easy to stand out in the vape space and this is an amazing way to do just that.

Timeless even holds events in Phoenix and Los Angeles from car shows to opportunities to discover new artists and stand-up comics in their Jam in the Van event series and YouTube page. With this information in tow Timeless’ brightly colored, creatively named friendly packaging makes much more sense. This is the type of vape that goes around and introduces itself to everyone at the party. Timeless OG product line is notably delicious and reliably on point with their promised tasting notes.

Highlights

The NOIR line is Timeless’ terpene tip-toe into the rapidly growing field of Live Resin. Timeless isn’t clear on this fact but it seems the NOIR line includes the same oil as their original flavors but instead with terpenes derived from Live Resin. To put it more plainly-you’re not smoking Live Resin but distillate jazzed up with the Live Resin goods. Timeless’ oil is derived from flower grown in Northern California and extraction begins within an hour of harvest using Subcritical H20 processing to preserve the integrity of the flower’s terpene profile.

Harvested annually, each flavor offered in the NOIR line comes with its vintage clearly delineated on its label. If you’re new to the Live Resin game the headline is that it’s awesome. If you’re into more into the nitty-gritty “live” refers to the use of fresh flowers instead of buds that are dried and cured. “Resin” is a catch-all category for concentrates of a variety of colors and consistencies with the common characteristic of superior terpene and flavinoid retention.  If you’re a serious cannassieur you already know the difference in experience that well cared for cannabis can produce. If you tend to be more skeptical of newfangled smokes, this is a good baby step towards the constant evolution of dab-ables.

Golden Ticket is also known as “Mr. Dank” and they are in tight contention for which name is better (as both are freakin’ awesome). If you’ve never seen Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory first of all-congratulations it’s batty and problematic AF. But secondly, you are missing out on a large handful of bizarre moments and ample fodder for memes. Although much of the film is openly not good, the power of some of the concepts endures. If you watched this movie as a kid you will never tire of the concept of “The Golden Ticket” and the prospect of a puffable version is a stoner’s dream come true.

Effects

If you’re familiar with Timeless’ signature eye-popping colors the reigned in sophistication of the NOIR packaging becomes even more notable. Golden Ticket’s product label looks like a high end wine or whiskey label with the point of origin, vintage, and tasting notes proudly displayed. This attention to detail makes it clear that Timeless is aiming for the top shelf customer and their beautiful design immediately communicates that. If fancy things make you feel like an adult this is the Timeless for you.

Digging into the box the top shelf aesthetic continues with a beautiful display of NOIR’s finest selling points: small batch, strain specific, high potency, no fillers with live resin terpenes added to the oil. A care guide is even included with reminders on limiting exposure to sunlight and moisture. The cart itself comes in a nifty mini pre-roll tube branded with the NOIR logo. The commitment to black tie assignment pops up in every step of the unboxing and it feels like the joy of disrobing a fresh bottle of Crown Royale.  

The cart is sharp in black-tie apparel and the oil looks fresh,  and inviting but couldn’t nearly be as pretty as it tastes. The inhale feels like a breath of fresh air with some mintiness on the back end-the herbal quality is alive and well with an understated piney bite reminiscent of the first breath of fresh air on your mountain weekend getaway. The flavor is really complex and alters slightly when you make your exhale faster or slower or release the hit thru your nose or mouth. Golden Ticket’s flavor profile is like the vape equivalent of your hipster mixologist’s proudest libation-its for those who know, not for everybody. 

Golden Ticket lights up your night quickly with a rapid onset that feels more robust than the mid 80% percent THC content would lead to you believe. Golden Ticket gave me the type of zone out where you find yourself repeating “….wait….what?” more than usual. This is not a smoke for getting things done or concentrating on any meaningful tasks but a strong fit for when you get home from work and you want to forget that capitalism draws on your human soul as a disposable battery for a while. NOIR’s added terpenes add a great dab-adjacent taste but the high is decidedly that of a 510 oil vape.

Price

It’s a decent but not super affordable price. I prefer Sherbinskis Gello Gelato Live Resin cart to Timeless‘ Oil with Terpenes added for my $46.

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